i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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