I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
