Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
