You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
