I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
