his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
