I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
