I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize