I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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