I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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