Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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