Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
