I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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