your thong is hanging out like whoa
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
