clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize