Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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