YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
