last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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