Swine flu. Run for my life!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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