I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
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My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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