Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
