I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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