What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
