you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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