thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
