Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
