Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
