he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
