you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
