Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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