OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Randomize
