dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
