38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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