i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
