sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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