Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
and you fell through a lawn chair
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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