It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
