I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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