i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
