I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
