I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
