Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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