I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I love you. Go after that dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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