You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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