It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
