Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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