Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
