Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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