i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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