Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
