im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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