Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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