Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
