that's an acceptable place to lick
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
