we're chasing vodka with high fives
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
