Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Jerry, you need to find god
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
