I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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